my life as a new yorker: week 11


WAH.  A WEEK AND A HALF?  How did that happen?  I think I needed that week break from blogging just to get my life together.  but now….

I’m baaaack…. with a New York update. (click these links for week 1, week 2, week 3, week 4, week 5, & week 6)


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Um and it’s Frankie’s BIRTHDAY!  So happy birthday babeeeeeee.

NOW.  Let’s chat!

With Frankie moving all of his stuff in three weeks ago, I feel soooooo… overwhelmed.  but(!) grateful.

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When I first knew I was trying to move home and I was having all of those convos with my best friends about CHANGE, they said it would be overwhelming.  I remember thinking to myself it’ll totally be fine.  I LOVE HIM.  I LOVE BEING AROUND HIM.  we practically lived together in college so how different could it be?!  welllppp I’m eating my words.  or better yet I’m saying ones I didn’t think I’d have to. 

that first week with him there, I found myself trying to explain to Frankie that “no, I’m not GRUMP.  I’m ADJUSTING.” 

I love, love, LOVE having him with me in the apartment.  but my god, it’s different.  I always said after living alone for three years I’d never be able to live with anyone besides Frankie and I’ve NEVER believed it more.  And I totally want to clarify because I’m not annoyed that he’s there in my space and I don’t want it to seem like I’m annoyed or complaining because I’m not.  I’m just not used to it.  

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I’m not used to coming home and having to interact with someone.  I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted with no distractions and I didn’t realize how much that impacted my days.  I didn’t realize how much my schedule would change.  how I had another person to think about.

Frankie laughs at me because I start to get frustrated when he walks in the door and asks me a billion questions about my day.  I just… haven’t had that… in literally three years.  I’m not used to coming home and TALKING all night everynight.  I’m used to going home and doing my thing and relaxing.  and watching TV and cooking and getting a break from people.  He’s never lived by himself so I don’t think he gets it.  He’s never had that.  He’s never gone from 0 to 60.

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I’ll be doing something or walking somewhere, literally ON A MISSION to get my task done and he’ll stop me or yank me by the waist to kiss me and in the moment I get frustrated like “I NEED TO PUT THIS SOCK IN THE HAMPER RIGHT NOW WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ME?!?!”  later I think about it and it’s like omg that’s ADORABLE, he’s ADORABLE why can’t I love that while it’s happening. 

And he laughs at me because I’m like a little kid stomping her foot like “JUST LET ME DO WHAT I NEED TO DO.”  thank god he’s patient with me.  anyone who knows us in real life is like Frankie?  Patient?  She’s on crack.  but it’s true.  he is with me.  and I’m TRYING so hard to be with him.  I think he knows it, I hope he knows it.  I’m trying so hard to not be stressed about his “crap” all over the place (he’s going to read this and tell me “it’s not crap!”).  I’m trying to be relaxed and cool about it. 

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I might impose a cocktail a night rule, just so I get to unwind… I don’t think Frankie will argue.

So those are the things I’m getting used to…. let’s chat about things I LOVE.

We’re learning new things about each other (and ourselves?) and it’s like the cutest.  Frankie’s first night in the apartment, he was APPALLED that I get into bed and turn off the TV and all that jazz at TEN PM.  did he think I was lying to be cute on the blog?  Because I call myself a grandma in like 98% of my posts…  I think we literally laid in bed that night and I just started BUSTING OUT LAUGHING because he kept twisting and turning and saying how weird it was and he couldn’t go to sleep… the boy literally can sleep ANYWHERE.

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He LOVES to brag about my pretzel dip and apple martinis.  like LOVES to.  he made me make them both when his fam visited and needed me to make the martinis when our friends were over last weekend.

Deb told me that I’d quickly learn my own “things.”  I have a thing about the kitchen.  I like it to be clean.  if the rest of the house is a disaster, I’m generally okay (Frankie will probably disagree here…) but the kitchen drives me crazy.  I HATE having the dishes in the sink.  and I LOVE having clean floors (they’re white tile… could that be any more torturous?).  OH AND THE BED.  I have a thing about the bed.  it HAS to be made… which is weird because this has never been my thing before.  but I think with my new white comforter and the throw pillows and blankets I just like for it to all be put together and crisp… plus it literally takes ONE MINUTE.  and frankie is super good about doing it on the weekdays (I leave for work before him). 

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Another upside is that I’ve been going to the gym to get my time alone.  I’ve been trying to stop and get a workout in at least a few times a week and I’ve been keeping up with the Kayla workouts.  I like knowing that i have that time.  even if it’s just an hour.  where no one talks to me and it’s just me and my music.  and um having to plan meals for someone else means that I’m more on top of keeping things healthy.  NOT PERFECT, but better at it. 

Um.  I love taking my lunch to work.  I know some people are against leftovers… that’s not me.  not my deal.  I love them.  they’re the best.  Frankie’s been at his job for about two years and has NEVER taken his lunch.  he was amazed when I started putting together lunches after making dinner during the week.  it’s like a whole new world for him.

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Friday’s are still my favorite days.  when we watch all of the shows from the week.  we have some drinks and just stay in and hang out.  Frankie is really pushing to implement pizza Fridays (or at least pizza once a week)… it’s like he wants me to gain a billion pounds.  I’m resisting… for now.  and trying really hard to make vegetables cool via my spiralizer.

 We’ve been having SO MUCH FUN exploring and frolicking in the park and our neighborhood and all the cute places.  because the weather has been GREAT.  and just like so nice.

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I guess the moral of this post is that I’m so happy and grateful to finally have him in the apartment with me, regardless of how weird it may feel at times.  The mundane things are probably my favorite part, like sitting down to eat dinner together every night.  It feels like everything is finally coming together and we only have a few more small things to do before it’s all finished and I take you on a virtual tour!  

Thanks for putting up with this super rambl-y update!


2 comments on “my life as a new yorker: week 11”

  1. Ashley, I feel like we might be the same person (Great Bryant-educated minds think alike?) I said the same thing when Sean and I moved in together, “But we are at each other’s houses every night! How different can it be?” So.different. It took me a good year plus to really adjust to it. To understand his moods every day, which were at times very different from when he was feeling excited about me coming over (the honeymoon phase as I like to call it.) I had to learn how to pick my battles, when to walk away, when to speak up, and to get over the guilt of still needing my “me” time. I have a much more active social life than he does, and was so used to coming and going as I pleased, that I felt a lot of guilt leaving him at home as I went out and had fun. I have since gotten over it (it will be 3 years of official co-domestication on June 6), and promise it will get better for you too :) Doesn’t mean you love him any less, it just means you have to learn how to love in a new way!

    1. GAH. it’s so good to hear that I’m not crazy about “adjusting!” and YAYYYYY 3 Years is AMAZING! Congrats girlie :)

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